My stepmother was an alcoholic, so as my stepfather. Unfortunately I amthe only child of them, along the time passed by, I was already used to theway our family was. When the moment I heard their death, sadness ran throughfrom my head to my toe, I trembled, but not even a single tear dropped outfrom my eyes. But there was no way I could deny, some place deeply inside myheart, I still loved them. All I wore was a black blouse and a black dress onthe day of their funeral, only by myself. Yes, there was only me… just as itI was for the passed sixteen years. I was standing; feeling the gentle breezebreathing through my soul, and thought if this is how the winds dancing andpraying beside my ears…
At that moment, I swear to myself under the maple tree with all those redlifted ornaments on it, I will forget everything after today and start my newlife. I said I will, and I meant it.
One week later, I moved to Las Vegas. I packed all my stuffs, andcleaned out the whole household. Then I found a brown old letter that was abit edgy, somewhere in my step-mom’s drawer.“Dear Grace,
I hope this won’t bring you into much trouble. Oh… but for god’s sake,please forgive me for doing it, and whatever the punishment I will deserve, Iwould definitely take it!
I must beg you for this, would you adopt Gillian, one of our olderdaughter? I don’t have any more supplies to run another person in this house.As you know, we were bankrupted two days ago. I haven’t closed my eyes sincelast night, thinking all of this. Suggesting thousands of result of doingthis, wondering how each of them will live in this world without me, what herfuture will be like, and most importantly, will she be happy? But then allof these thoughts were just like knifes scratching across my heart, and Iheard the blood leaking out of it. My poor little babies… I was trying sohard to catch every seconds to looking at them one more time, seeing theirfaces, hearing their breathings, □□elling them as if □□elling the scent ofsummer rose, and they are my angels. These two sisters, Gillian and Joanne,are the biggest gift to me from the god, but I cannot save them. I’d rathersuffer with my husband than with them. They are supposed to grow likeprincesses, not like proper. I want them to have a better life than us. I do,I wish, and I prayed since they were born.Grace, I know if once I made the decision, none of them would everforgive their mother. But believe me if I’ve ever have a choice I would neverdo this. I will appreciate for whatever you do to my family as long as Ilive. And lord, again, please forgive me…
Yours truly,
Cassandra ”
There was also a picture of me as a baby, but it looked like that thephoto had been ripped into half, another half was missed! Again I skimmedthrough the letter, felt slightly apathetic. Some part of me had already diedwhen my stepparents died; some part of my soul would never wake up again, andthat is AFFECTION, affection to anyone that is near me. But then, I mustadmit that one event the woman who called herself my mother mentioned in theletter had interested me ---- my sister Joanne. I will greet her somedaysomehow, I believe in fate.
